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Posted by Tales of Kumander Misis, Ang Wifey ni Tsip on Monday, 22 June 2015
Other Writings by the Author:
Showing posts with label police wife. Show all posts
Showing posts with label police wife. Show all posts
Monday, June 22, 2015
Spoiled Wife Strikes Again: Single for a Week in Thailand
Other Writings by the Author:
Monday, August 25, 2014
Back to Basics
By Cherry Moriones Doromal
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| Hello there! This is Cherry D. speaking |
I was invited to speak before a congregation of a small community Christian church in Manila last Sunday. And in my attempt to prepare the message, I was waiting for a perfect internet connection last weekend whereby, for whatever reason, all my internet providers at home failed to give me a stable internet access (not sure if it’s only in the Philippines that we experience it).
Therefore, I ended up manually outlining my message using a recycled notebook, pen and my Bible --not the electronic one. It was a realization that despite full exposure to modernization, we couldn’t rely on technology all the time; hence, the best thing is to get back to basics.
Yes, “Back to Basics” had been our topic which I’m simplifying into a blog today.
My hope is that we all learn from the book of Ecclesiastes which was authored by no less than King Solomon, who also wrote the books Proverbs and Song of Songs.
King Solomon, son of King David, as we know, was blessed with unsurpassed wisdom, with bonuses of power and riches, allowing him to rule over Israel for 40 years. He enjoyed life at its fullest-- drinking wine, rejoicing, and having, literally, a thousand wives and mistresses. Many scholars believe that King Solomon died in his 60s, calculating that he began his kingship at about 20 years old or less, and ruled Israel for forty years.
My hope is that we all learn from the book of Ecclesiastes which was authored by no less than King Solomon, who also wrote the books Proverbs and Song of Songs.
King Solomon, son of King David, as we know, was blessed with unsurpassed wisdom, with bonuses of power and riches, allowing him to rule over Israel for 40 years. He enjoyed life at its fullest-- drinking wine, rejoicing, and having, literally, a thousand wives and mistresses. Many scholars believe that King Solomon died in his 60s, calculating that he began his kingship at about 20 years old or less, and ruled Israel for forty years.
With his stature and wisdom, what else could a King Solomon ask for? In Ecclesiastes 1, we can see that after all his achievements and glory, King Solomon was at a point of consciousness that everything is life is meaningless. Probably, what he was experiencing is comparable to some signs of midlife crisis that people in their late 40s experience today. In verse 3, he said: “What does man gain from all his labor at which he toils under the sun?” And in Chapter 12, the last chapter of Ecclesiastes, the author clearly emphasized the need for us to remember our Creator in the days of our youth. He ended up saying that ultimately, the whole duty of man is to "fear God and to keep His commandments”, because every work, good or bad, exposed or done in secret will be judged in time.
Back to basics!
Academically, I finished four courses already, plus one honorary degree, and at present, concurrently taking up another masters and a diploma program. Not to mention that I’m a wife and a mom, too. Busy huh? Having said these, the story of King Solomon allowed me to contemplate on my most important title: “Servant of my Father God”. That is the basic me, which I need to fully assess continually, and while I am still physically strong.
In reality, no matter what we do, what we achieve, and wherever we go, at the end of the day, we will get back to basics. I agree with King Solomon when he opined that he had achieved much, and at the prime of his life, what he sowed would be reaped by others. The thing is that life is a cycle and all our accomplishments will be forgotten in time.
Have you seen the guests of the recent State of the Nation Address (SONA) by President Aquino? Or are you not stunned by the luxurious outfits celebrities wear on awards night? No matter how sophisticated and expensive the evening wears celebrities put on, at the end of the day, these superstars will go to bed with the simplest and most comfortable outfits, with no makeup on and have only the basic sleeping wears as they retire at night.
Getting back to basics…
Remember what we learned during our Pre-school and Kindergarten years, where we were trained to distinguish the difference of every thing in terms of color, size and number? “Encircle the biggest.” “Which is the tallest?” Things like that. So that, later in life, we will get to be scrupulous in observing our day- to- day experiences and get used to knowing or perceiving which is right or wrong. In the same way, we get to become good writers by applying the basic knowledge of the alphabet and spelling which we learned in elementary years.
Remember what we learned during our Pre-school and Kindergarten years, where we were trained to distinguish the difference of every thing in terms of color, size and number? “Encircle the biggest.” “Which is the tallest?” Things like that. So that, later in life, we will get to be scrupulous in observing our day- to- day experiences and get used to knowing or perceiving which is right or wrong. In the same way, we get to become good writers by applying the basic knowledge of the alphabet and spelling which we learned in elementary years.
King Solomon knew the basic law in his heart since day one. Before inheriting the throne, his father King David reminded him to always follow God’s decrees and commands (1 Kings 2:3-4). However, along the way, Solomon broke specific commandments God gave to the future kings of Israel such as: “Neither shall he multiply wives for himself, lest his heart turn away” Deuteronomy 17:17, among others.
None of us is above the law! For instance, one may temporarily fight aging-- which is a law of nature-- through botox, stem cell therapy, cosmetic surgery, etcetera. Those processes may only take effect for a moment, but, in the long run, the law of nature will prevail. Meaning, all signs of physical deterioration will be visible, whether we like it or not.
Just like Solomon, we are kings of our lives. And due to numerous priorities we are busy at, we tend to forget that we are governed by different laws which we cannot get away from—the law of nature, the law of man, and the law of God.
With our fast-paced and high-tech lifestyle today, may we learn to set aside our vanity and decide to get back to basics.
If you have time, read the whole book of Ecclesiastes; it’s only 12 chapters, anyway.
And before we end up, let me leave you these words of wisdom from King Solomon:
Ecclesiastes 2:4-11
4 I undertook great projects: I built houses for myself and planted vineyards. 5 I made gardens and parks and planted all kinds of fruit trees in them. 6 I made reservoirs to water groves of flourishing trees. 7 I bought male and female slaves and had other slaves who were born in my house. I also owned more herds and flocks than anyone in Jerusalem before me. 8 I amassed silver and gold for myself, and the treasure of kings and provinces. I acquired male and female singers, and a harem as well—the delights of a man’s heart. 9 I became greater by far than anyone in Jerusalem before me. In all this my wisdom stayed with me. 10 I denied myself nothing my eyes desired; I refused my heart no pleasure.My heart took delight in all my labor,and this was the reward for all my toil. 11 Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve,everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind; nothing was gained under the sun.
And in Ecclesiastes 12:13-14:
13 Now all has been heard;
here is the conclusion of the matter:
Fear God and keep his commandments,
for this is the duty of all mankind.
14 For God will bring every deed into judgment,
including every hidden thing,
whether it is good or evil.
Video: The Whole Duty of Man as Recited by the then 4th Grader Zekie Doromal (He's 8th Grader now)
Video: The Whole Duly of Man as recited by the then pre-schooler Zecheriah (He's 4th Grader now)
More posts by this author:
Pass the MessageBasic Tips to Betrayed Wives
Throughthe Strong Winds Part 2 (Learning from an Eagle in Pain)
How to Teach the Bible to Kids
Oratorical Piece THE SCHOLAR by Cherry Moriones Doromal
How to Teach the Bible to Kids
Oratorical Piece THE SCHOLAR by Cherry Moriones Doromal
Tuesday, April 15, 2014
Women’s Edition: 2 BASIC TIPS TO BETRAYED WIVES
By: Cherry Moriones Doromal
Just got back home from another fantastic family weekend
where we celebrated my older son Zekie’s 13th birthday. Wow! Now, we
have a teenager in the family!
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| Zekie's 13th birthday cake by Dusit Thani Hotel |
Although I’m generally pleased and grateful about what’s
going on with my life, I must admit that I, somehow, have this
ambivalence towards seeing the kids grow up in a flash. In a matter of years, the
children become adults, and reality dictates they will have to walk their way
to the future by themselves. Hahah, separation anxiety attacks the mom this
early!
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| Zekie and Strong present this lovely celebration cake by Corniche, Diamond Hotel (Photobomb: nephew Eon on background,hahah) |
Anyway, I’m inspired to write this blog for special friends who are currently undergoing tight circumstances in their marriage and family life. A number of Facebook friends would message me regularly to ask for advice on love and marriage, thinking that mine is a perfect marriage and that I’m in authority to give sound advice.
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First off, “thanks for the trust”. Secondly, “mine is not a perfect marriage”, and lastly, “… but, we have a perfect God in this family that makes this marriage survive life’s situations where we learn together as a couple each day.”
Having been married to a police officer, it’s quite a challenge
that I have to take extra efforts to balance my level of understanding, support
and love to my better half versus my personal priorities and major decisions we
have to take as a couple-- from where to establish our residence and how long, where
to send the kids in school, whether to work, or be a full-time homemaker,
etcetera. We are aware that a single
decision may strengthen or be a threat to the family life; therefore, my
husband and I decided to set and work towards our
priorities, bearing in mind their long term repercussions in the family.
Since the lifetime of an officer is a realizable daily journey
on roads to temptations attacking family and personal values, working on a strong
relationship is an enduring process.
But, actually, it doesn’t really matter what your husband’s
profession is, whether he is a businessman, a politician or a street sweeper,
temptations or the so-called "test of values" are everywhere. Why? Because we’re
on earth, we can’t choose the situations and people we bump into each day.
Then, emanates the test of one’s character along the way. Hence, the wife has a special role in guiding
her husband and in bringing the husband back to his senses, just in case the
latter derails from his values.
Girls, I feel like I have so much in my heart to share, but
for now, let me simplify the points into two, which are:
1. Trust your spouse. Love cannot stand alone without trust. It’s the foundation of
a smooth and lasting relationship. Otherwise, your home will be jam-packed with
paranoia, pointless fights, baseless terror, and tension. However, by
trust, I don’t mean being vulnerable to being cheated. Therefore, go ahead, wives, check on the
whereabouts and activities of your husbands-- in a nice way!
And a special note to the husband: Remember that it’s your wife’s right to know your engagements as she’s your other half. It’s a basic act of love and respect that you are transparent to your wife. Moreover, it will help keep away worries. Take it as a proactive approach to help you resist or prevent bad choices, should there be any.
And a special note to the husband: Remember that it’s your wife’s right to know your engagements as she’s your other half. It’s a basic act of love and respect that you are transparent to your wife. Moreover, it will help keep away worries. Take it as a proactive approach to help you resist or prevent bad choices, should there be any.
2. Expect the
best, but be ready for the worst. To
think that you’ll separate or go on divorce one day isn’t proper. Scientifically, biblically and medically speaking, positive thinking yields multifarious
benefits. And so, it’s all worthwhile to
think positive and to practice the “law of attraction” with respect to your
marriage.
So, now you have a picture of a perfect relationship
in your head. But what if your husband betrays
your trust?
Compose yourself for a tough decision. And here, you will
have to decide on a personal and case-to-case basis. Are you willing to keep the relationship or are
you leaving your husband? Will you treat yourself as a victim or as a survivor?
Upon weighing the ins and outs of the circumstance,
and assuming you decided to keep your relationship and be a “survivor” rather
than a “victim” of betrayal, anticipate an arduous process that you have to go through. Then brood over the following:
a. Counseling. You
may need counseling from a respected confidante, a trusted minister or a
marriage counselor. For counseling sessions on how to go about the process, I
would recommend that the spouses go together, so that both sides may be heard,
for better understanding of the situation, and for mutual support.
Furthermore, as much as possible, don’t go to
your parents or parents-in-law to
disparage your spouse, as more often than not, it creates a lasting
vilifying impression against the erring party and in the end, impairing
the family relationship.
b.
Pray without ceasing. And that is: Pray
when alone. Pray with your husband. Pray with your family. What’s good about praying is that it has no
inhibitions—cry, shout, whisper, sing… it’s up to you. And it works!
c. Forgive. Totally! I know this is much easier said
than done; nevertheless, without total forgiveness, there will be no healing.
Without forgiveness, you cannot move on with your life, even after hundreds of
years.
Forgiveness
is a crucial stage of the show where you and your husband will have to be
strong partners rather than enemies. Although, betrayal is never right, it’s
not something you deserve, and is never fair in all respects…the situation is
not only about you. In reality, your husband is also struggling within himself
due to guilt and desire to win your trust back.
Reputable
psychologists, behavioral scientists and educators agree, and I certainly agree
with them, that humans are naturally capable of learning from their mistakes
and experiences; furthermore, they are capable of changing for the better.
Finally, once you totally
forgive, go back to No. 1 (Trust your spouse) and No. 2 (Expect the best and be
ready for the worst).
How far have you been traveling in this life? How long will it take you to finish your
journey? How important is your marriage and family to you?
Life is a short and temporary cycle of (1) TRUST or DISTRUST,
(2) EXPECTATIONS, (3) FULFILLMENT or DISAPPOINTMENT and (4) FORGIVENESS or
UNFORGIVENESS… And regardless of our individual differences and personal choices, there is only one ultimate rule that binds
the entire humanity: LOVE.
Here's a song that perfectly goes with this blog: SORRY by Cherry Moriones Doromal
Here's a song that perfectly goes with this blog: SORRY by Cherry Moriones Doromal
Post by Zekie Zekie.
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Posted by Tales of Kumander Misis, Ang Wifey ni Tsip on Monday, 22 June 2015
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