18 Roses, Candles and Treasures of Marriage

18 Roses, Candles and  Treasures of Marriage

By  Cherry Moriones Doromal

Happy 18th Birthday to You, dear Marriage!

Since it's your debut today, let your parents present these 18 Roses to honor your beauty, or 18 Candles to further light up your way, or 18 Treasures which are wisdom acquired while raising you:

1. EXPECT the UNEXPECTED as regards the personality of your spouse.

Understand that you will have to be united with somebody who is totally different from you. You and your spouse have two distinct backgrounds. If along the way you discovered some traits exceeding what you had imagined prior to your marriage, congratulations! The general rule, however, is: "expect imperfections". Expect the unexpected!

2. LOVE is a DECISION and not merely an emotion.

Trials, temptations, uncertainties, rough roads, challenges, mistakes... you might encounter them often in the course of your marriage but those should never be an excuse to unlove your spouse.

3. MARRIAGE is a LIFELONG COURTSHIP.

Appreciate each other every single day. Take efforts to show your spouse his/her value and importance. Be thoughtful.

4. SPEAK UP.

Do not not keep within yourself your hurts, disapproval, angst, emotional issues and the like as those might cause or aggravate misunderstanding. Take time to breathe in and breathe out and communicate your feelings calmly and peacefully.

5. TAKE TIME to LISTEN.

No matter how exhausted or busy you are, even if he/she is irritable and grumpy, even if the other party sounds nonsense, shallow or cheesy, even if you have opposing views or varying interests... listen!

6. BE SENSITIVE to UNSPOKEN LANGUAGE and GESTURES.

Believe it or not, oftentimes, silence is louder than spoken language. Not because your spouse does not speak, it follows that he is well, content, pleased, untroubled or strong. Learn to properly interpret  unspoken language and do something to address latent concerns. (Eg. He was stuck in traffic for hours, how about a fresh fruit juice for him as refreshment?)

7. GRANT EACH OTHER a MOMENT of SILENCE.

Everyone needs a "ME" time. Marriage is not a license to strangle your partner. A negligible distance once in a while might be helpful to allow your spouse to discover, develop and enjoy his/her own identity. That rule is not absolute, though. It also depends on your circumstances.

Important note: Ladies and gentlemen, be on guard with your spouse's activities and whereabouts. You know what I mean. It is always better to be proactive than to be sorry.

8. LEARN the ART of PROPER TIMING.

Is there any problem that you would like to share with your spouse? There is always a right time and place to talk about it. Or, do you want to get angry? Even anger has proper timing, too. Don't let two hot heads collide. Timing is everything!

9. CONSIDER your SPOUSE and your CHILDREN in DREAMING and in making PLANS and CHOICES.

It is normal and mostly okay to dream. A married person should note, though, that he/she does not live solely for himself/ herself. Consult your spouse in making plans and choices. Example, you plan to travel abroad for work. Have a definite short and longterm plan about your goal. Explain to your children the purpose of what you are doing.

10. MARRIAGE is TEAMWORK. Marriage in Christian perspective is the union of a man and woman making them partners for life-- for better, for worse, for richer and poorer. Be cooperative. Support each other in all aspects from the smallest thing such as performing household chores to huge ventures.

11. MARRIAGE is a LIFETIME ADJUSTMENT.

The truth is that a lot of couple keep and endure long years of togetherness in marriage without inner peace or happiness in their hearts. That is because they are not well-adjusted. Adjustment takes forever not simply for 1, 3, 5, or 7 years...because in life we experience various challenges along the way (eg. old age, sickness, etc.) and it is where our coping mechanisms manifest. Chances are, undesirable traits of our spouse spring out on these occasions; and so, you will have to adjust to that and deal with it.

12. LOOK GOOD for YOURSELF and for your SPOUSE.

Girls and guys, remain desirable. I learned that from my grandma. I believe it is an act of respect for yourself, and for your spouse. Go ahead! Visit the salon, fix yourself, buy a nice outfit, exercise to tone your body shape, and so forth.

13. PRAY, PRAY, PRAY! Start and end your day with positivity, humor, hope and faith. PRAY! By prayer, you lift your relationships, plans and practically, your entire life to our Almighty God, the Author of the universe.

Prayer equals power!

14. SEEK WISE COUNSEL ONLY from CREDIBLE, TRUSTWORTHY and RESPECTED personalities.

eg. pastor/priest, family lawyer, close friend. If you share confidential family matters to the wrong person, you might end up being more devastated or becoming the gossipers' headline.

15. ADMIT your FAULT and SHORTCOMINGS and DO NOT COMMIT the SAME MISTAKES again.

Take it as it is. Self explanatory.

16. ACT and SPEAK in a MANNER that would PLEASE your SPOUSE with or without him/her around. Do not breach your spouse's trust.

Caution: No flirting with someone else!

17. MARRIAGE has to be BALANCED. Remember to socialize and maintain friendships within your marriage.

18. LEAVE a CERTAIN LEVEL of  DIGNITY, RESPECT and LOVE  for YOURSELF.

A song says: "Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all." Personally, I believe that statement is not extremely correct in all respects. Let me qualify, though, that as regards relationships and marriage, I partially agree with that statement.

Do not give your all to your spouse. Leave a margin of error, a buffer or a certain shield that would enable you to move on if you should! If after all your efforts, such as strictly abiding by what I wrote in 1 to 17, still nothing good happens in your relationship with your spouse, that, I suppose is already beyond our control. Move on, my Dear! And live!

Related links:
Motorsiklo
Tips on How to Train Up Your Kids
Choose Life!

MOTORSIKLO

20 years after, I still am not used to seeing him riding a motorbike. When the then Police Inspector (Lieutenant) Wilson was courting me, he had a Ducati big bike. I told him that I didn't like motorbikes. Well, good for me that he was obedient enough that from then on he left his motorbike with me in Manila. He never touched it nor cleaned it until we got married. It stayed in an open parking for more than three years or so,rain or shine... Till it became totally unserviceable.

I don't know but I tend to associate danger with motorcycles. Maybe because we often see reckless drivers everywhere. As per personal experience while driving, my car suffered from scratches and minor bumps caused by heedless motorcycle drivers who would escape after hitting my car.

One time, I was with a driver and we were not even moving on red light when a neglectful motorcycle rider suddenly came hitting the right side of my SUV bumper. I told my driver: "It's okay. Don't bother to run after him. That might even cause us hypertension.Life is more important." 

And now, of course,there are situations wherein we can't avoid riding a motorbike, like in Colonel D's case wherein it's part of his job at Highway Patrol Group. The same is true with food or parcel delivery men who would often use motorcycles to fulfill their duties. And as to others, that's their only mode of transporation at work and in taking their children to schools.

May it be a motorcycle, luxury car, bus, jeepney or truck, we all have the same desire each time we travel... and that is to reach our destination. All of us have equal rights to use the road. We all have the same responsibility towards ourselves, our co-passengers and fellow drivers. All of us have our own family members who expect us to come home safe and sound. Most of all, we equally have a single life that we need to treasure.

Tips on How to Train Up your Kids

"Every Child Has a Distinct Talent... Every Child Has a Potential to Shine" 

#KiddosGotTalents #TipsOnHowToTrainUpYourKids

by Cherry Moriones Doromal

I didn't know that one of my oldest and most neglected Youtube vids has so far reached 56k views? heheh. Effortless posting for my personal archive. As Strongboy said: "my humble beginnings🤣🤣🤣" Such a practical comedian! (See entire post below 👇 #scrollup please)

Facebook:

Cherry Moriones Doromal
Tales of Kumander Misis, Ang Wifey ni Tsip
Brain Clips by BloggerMom
Works of Cherry Moriones Doromal
 
The "NOW"

FRIEND: (Applause) Wow, congratulations!  Strong is an excellent pianist and Zekie is such a beast drummer? Who taught them?

ME: In musical instruments, they practically learned ONLY the basics from me, school and tutors... and as to their present skills, they learned by themselves. So, credit to them😊

Hubby and I had  introduced everything to our kids at the earliest age. Again, "INTRODUCED"... Meaning, we had them try various activities for 2-10  sessions and allowed them to choose later which to take seriously --taekwondo, swimming, cricket, basketball, archery, fencing, painting, football, robotics, karate, arnis, speech,modeling, theater, voice, foreign language (Mandarin, French,  Italian), culinary, firing, basic driving lessons, golf,biking, motorbike (scooter in the meantime🤣),  dance, scuba diving, handball, violin, piano/keyboard, melodica, flute, drums,guitar,  and so forth.

Even then, we didn't expect that they would excel or be skilled in every single thing on the list. 😊However,  those exposures became helpful for them to determine their interests and to develop life skills.

So, in brevity, here are my quick tips in traning up your children:

1. Introduce various skills to your kids. How?

A. By simple orientation
B. By showing  what it is, eg. demo or have them watch
C. By having them experience (my top choice!)

2. Start early. Assess which skills are practicable for your child. For instance, check out if your child could start drawing at 3 or 4 years old.  As regards Zekie, I gave him toy #drumset at 4😊

 3. Give your full support... (you are at liberty to define or to execute it in the manner you interpret "full support". It definitely  depends on various circumstances as well as on your goal. Eg. The goal of being future  Olympian, and  "just exposed", and being a professional coach and hobbyist  are 4 different stories which require different levels  and genre of support)

4. DO NOT COMPARE  your child with another person's child. All people have their own individual differences and strengths.

5.Believe in your child, appreciate your child,  respect your child  and allow him/her to grow.

6. Pray for your child. The reality is that we can only dream for the best for our children and even provide anything... within our limits. Nothing is certain in this world. The only sure shot I know is that we NEED God's powerful hand and wisdom every step of the way!

https://youtu.be/a4trh08XdK4

Basic Drum Fills by Zekie Doromal

Bag Stories 2018-1

BAG STORIES 2018-1
by Cherry Moriones Doromal
https://www.facebook.com/KikayRepublicbyCherryD/
https://www.facebook.com/kumandermisis/

Importer: Madam, I wonder if you'd like to buy a super copy of H bag from me. It's only P50k ($1000) and I can give it to you at $900

ME: Ah, I see. No thanks.

Importer: Madam, you have to know that it's a super copy of the authentic, using genuine leather and materials. It comes in a box with receipts and paper bag. In stores, the original item is worth P2M ($40,000). Should you use it, that would really look nice and authentic.

ME: Precisely. And that's the big issue! Should I wear that hand bag, people might have the false impression that I am using a P2M bag (while shopping for "tuyo"! 😝😜)

That's why I said: "No thanks!"😊

Practical wisdom: 

1. "Which is more important, the purse or its content?"  #InvestSaveShare

2. Humans are naturally judgmental in various ways. As leaders, we should be extra cautious about human impressions. 

A preacher once said:  "It's not only important for a leader to be clean inside (okay, you know that,  but others don't see that) ... It's equally important to look clean outside."