By Cherry Moriones Doromal
It’s not a very unusual scenario that parents and teens clash about various issues at home because of the many changes both parties experience in passing through a stage where the adolescent explores many things about life. This, however, is something that can be avoided when parents will only endeavor to strengthen their relationship with their teens. Here’s how:
1. Be your teen’s best friend. Just like a real best friend, spend time with your teen as much as you can-- laugh with him, cry with him,eat with him, go to the gym with him or go out on a party with him. Talk to him casually when you’re together and when he comes home from school, ask how his day went.
2. Give your teen some freedom to act without your shadow. How do we reconcile this tip with number 1 above? It's important to know our limitations in interfering with the life and whereabouts of our teens.
While your teenager might treat you as his best friend, you must know how to balance your being a parent. The art of recognizing the need to keep distance is essential. For instance, in coming up with decisions where a minor needs guidance on, such as which course to take up in college, you may get into the scene. But, in choosing which club to join,such as where, obviously, your teen is more interested in swimming or karate club, don’t force him to join the glee club.
3. Think his age, feel his age. As parents, be open-minded about how your teens feel. Try to understand where his actions, choices and decisions come from, considering the circumstances and his lack of experience. Talk to him properly to explain issues.
4. Show that you care while showing a certain level of understanding and respect on his choices. Teenage is characterized by a period where your kids develop crushes. Normally, it is the time where puppy love or hero worship blooms. Don’t stick your nose in whoever your youngster admires. Let him develop his own sense of identity. Slyly give sound advice when needed, and set easy-to-understand rules, such as: " It’s okay to have crush, but don’t get into any serious relationships, for now, because you’re too young."
5. Being open makes you close. Have an accommodating atmosphere when dealing with your teenager. Initiate a welcoming attitude by being open to him. For instance, talk to him how happy you were upon being commended for accomplishing your office tasks, saying what exactly your boss said. Talk about your interests, opinions on politics and vacation plans. If you would share personal thoughts to your minor, he would most likely, open up his own feelings in the same manner.
6. Let his voice be heard. Begin involving your teen in coming up with minor family decisions, such as how and where he would like the family to spend the next weekend.
7. Proper orientation on sensitive issues starts from home. Teenagers usually face a lot of questions and difficulties as regards changes in many aspects of their lives. While the schools and the real world offer their own ways of teaching the minors, it's always safest and most ideal to learn from home. For instance, the menstrual cycle and basic hygiene are better explained by a mom to her teenage girl. Issues on sexuality or sexual awareness are best explained at home as the parents slot in moral values in making clear to the teen sensitive subjects.
Parents, make the critical teenage period of your child an exciting moment of discovery for you and your child by building up your relationship. The family has an extra nurturing task to perform at his stage. With proper guidance and support, you are sure to lead your teen to the right way, and correctly prepare him for his life as an adult.
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To Spank, or Not to Spank
The Teacher as a Learner
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How to discipline a child with Minimal or NO SPANKING
How to Teach the Bible to Kids
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Earthwide Concepts Marketing and PR
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The Manila Saturday Club Civic Association Inc.
007 Security Agency Inc.
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On-line Ministers Worldwide
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International School MGIS
"Cherry Moriones-Doromal, an educator at the Mahatma Gandhi International School (MGIS), is a proud advocate of high-quality global education."
Other Writings by Cherry Moriones Doromal:
Ways to love your old newspapers
Wow eating manners!
Journal of a Practical Mom
Honoring a decade of happy marriage
Summertime ironies are cool
On Sowing and Reaping
Leave the crab behind